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G...S..M....

Monday, November 30, 2015

Thanksgiving...

On this Thanksgiving Day I would like to express my gratitude towards my parents. 
It feels a little weird but I have not said this enough (if at all) and would like to take this opportunity to do so.
My dad is my true hero and my mother is my first true love. 
Any good qualities I may have are due to my upbringing and solely due to what my parents taught and internalized in me through their words and actions. 
They say that a dad is one who is neither an anchor to hold us back, nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way. 
It is also said that a good dad is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed and yet one of the most valuable assets in society. 
A father's job is to teach his children how to be warriors, to give them the confidence to get on the horse and ride into battle when it's necessary to do so.  
No matter which way one looks at it, my dad has been a true role model for integrity and hard work and has been the perfect dad. 
Through his life, he has instilled in us the message that the best kind of success is the one that is got through one's honest diligence and drive. 

They say that simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. 
Then that would make him the most sophisticated person.
I feel my dad is like a cactus -  I cannot fully explain this in words but those who know him well may understand this. 

He gave us a good life and made numerous sacrifices, often without much recognition (like many other dads perhaps). 
Although I have never really expressed this to him, his honest diligence and enterprising nature has always been very inspiring to me. 
This time when I was in India he showed me the primary school in Bangalore that he studied in and also the house he lived in during those years with my grandparents and my aunts (his sisters).
He told me it is largely unchanged from when they used to live there. 
When I saw it, I found it to be an extremely cramped living arrangement (less than a few hundred square feet) in a poor locality. 
This reinforced what I already knew to be true - My father is someone who had risen from a very modest upbringing and went on to achieve great laurels. 
My dad worked extremely hard from very humble beginnings to get to great heights solely on his dedication and drive. 
Few people can lay claim to such a feat and nobody can take that away from him.

My mother sometimes likes to remind me - 
Long before I started working at Intel or earned my doctorate at Massachusetts Institute of Technology or even graduated from Indian Institute of Technology Madras,
before I was even born - 
my father attended and graduated from the prestigious Shriram College of Commerce in New Delhi which is the number 1  ranked institute for commerce in India. 
He went on to become one of the first employees of IBM's India office during the times of the mainframe computer. 
He won multiple awards during his time there until IBM was forced to close it's India office due to some political reasons.
My father also donned many hats in the private automobile ancillary sector including CFO and Chief of Projects. He went on multiple deputations to USA, Israel and Germany during his career.
He even had a rather adventurous (perhaps too adventurous) stint as CEO of a startup he founded once. 
I feel that if I achieve even half of what he has done or be even half the man he is, I would be proud. 
My brother and I feel truly blessed that we were given all the comforts and education that he could afford through his work and he deserves a big salute.  
I have been witness to some very tough times in our family - 
times when my father has fallen down very hard with huge setbacks both financially as well as in his health, which could have made lesser men despondent and hopeless.  But every time he gets back up and fights. 
He is the most courageous man I have known. 
I truly and deeply admire him and his true courage and dignity. 
My appreciation of him and what he has accomplished has grown over the years. 
Inspite of our share of disagreements (which father and son do not have any?), our bond remains as strong as ever and I wish him the very best with good health and cheers. 

My mom is full of life and has retained the joyfulness of her youth.
She is definitely a people person and enjoys the company of friends and family. 
If it were not for her circumstances and lack of good health (severe diabetic condition) which makes her weak and tired very easily, she could definitely have a much more enriching life with a more positive outlook. 
My mother has made countless sacrifices and has devoted her entire life to me and my brother and for that I shall be eternally grateful to her.

I still remember our times in Hyderabad when we moved there from Chennai - I was six and my brother was eight. My brother and I used to study in the same primary school. 
But one day my brother moved to a different school, and that was a very big change for me without my big brother. 
For a while I stayed on in the same school, but then after a while it was time for me also to transfer to another school. 
However I could not get admission into the same school as my brother so I had to start going to another school, some distance from my brother's. 
Since I was really upset and fearful of new experiences with the new school without my brother going with me, I would pretend to be sick in bed to avoid going to school altogether! 
My parents would somehow cajole me and get me to go to school attend the morning assembly prayers and the first class period. 
My mother would accompany me every day and sit on the bench in the school courtyard at a place where I could see her from my class bench. 
I would constantly look outside to check if she is on the bench and that would be a comforting factor for me.
Knowing that, my mom would stay there until well beyond lunch time. 
I feel ashamed to have made her do this and sit in the sun just for making me feel comfortable and not miss classes. 
I don't remember for how many weeks (or months!) this happened but my mother would tirelessly accompany me to this school until the point when I felt comfortable to go on my own  and I had a friend circle of my own.
This is just one example from the endless sacrifices she has made to bring up my brother and me. 
Nothing we ever do will repay what she has done for us.
She gave up a promising teaching career to look after my brother and me since we needed her through our childhood years,   particularly my brother who suffered through a childhood illness and needed her to be a stay-at-home mother. 
She has been the constant source of encouragement for both me and my brother. 
Later she would go through countless lonely nights, months and years while my brother and I pursued our dreams outside India. 
She had to deal also with father's illness, her own endless struggle with type2 diabetes, and later other problems with her own family life.
She has truly borne the cross for our family. 
But through this all, she has maintained a cheerful disposition and put on a brave front for the sake of our family and taught us all the meaning of love and sacrifice. 

She would often jokingly say that because she taught me the alphabet and nursery rhymes she got me off to a good start academically and that is why I was able to get a bachelors degree from one of India's best universities and later a PhD as well. 
The truth is I am forever indebted to her for everything I am and hope to be. 
She is the truly the heart and soul of our family. 
Her constant prayers are the reason why both my brother and I have attained some success in our lives and respective careers. 
I want and sincerely pray to God that he gives me the strength and ability to be a good son and I wish her all the health, happiness and joy. 
She often reminds me and talks about the Thirukkural verse " Saandron Endru Kaetta Thaai" which literally means "A mother's happiness knows no bounds when she hears the world call her son virtuous or a scholar". 
I hope I can always do her proud. 
I wish to be her son in the next birth as well (if there is one). 
Inspite of all of our troubles, I would not have it any other way and I would not choose any other life nor any other family - we are one.